10 weeks no alcohol and Im ecstatic. Oh my God. I actually cannot see myself even returning to the madness of drinking because I felt broken. If and it's a big if, I would only touch alcohol to celebrate my birthday and even then I really don't need to.
I've got mojo back. Had a slight blip last week where I really missed my EX (the pile of tripe), then realised it was Aprils Fools day so used it as an excuse to justify my void and contacting him. Went as far to say I missed him!!! Eeeew (I lost my mind, I know, I know). Then my phone rang and it was my new interest that made me realise STOP IT, you're doing fab.
Yes, I'm not proud of it, but quickly got a grip and now back on track. (As I shudder, the thought that I made him feel important and me needy pisses me off. Plus I'm only human, after all).
This week though, I had to use my expertise of my past pain, to assist two very kind friends, who have literally fallen on their own swords.
1 friend whilst on holiday lost her and mum to a heart attack and my 2nd friend was attacked whilst st work. Both reached out for my help.
I looked up to the sky in tears when my friend cried her heart out for her mother, my stomach wrenched in pain as I felt that sorrow after my loss of my brother.
It was not easy to say be strong, but it's not easy for her to do it, as her dad died years ago so she's orphaned bar a bigger brother. My friend is gorgeous, full of life, 32 and is hilarious and at times quite child like. Can you imagine, she lives at home with mum, now she lives in emptiness of her shadow😔.
Each day, all I can do is listen as telling someone what to do is not what they need. They just want to talk and cry, so you let them.
My only words were take the shoulders that are being offered to you right now. As when the door closes and the funeral is over, you are left alone to get on with life. That's when the pain really begins.
I know loneliness, even though I'm not lonely per say, but when your heart has been wrapped around someone you love for so long, how do you just let it go just so? In my case, I'm still work in progress, but I know NO MATTER HOW MUCH I MISS THAT BIT OF SHIT, I will not allow myself to make contact again. I ended it, it's time let it stay ended and not try to force him back.
The worse thing he's dating a former friend of mine, so there you have it. She wanted what I had, now she's welcome to him and all the other women he has in tow when she's back home in her sunny land away from England. But that's no longer my problem.
Oh dear enough about 👆🏽That or them.. 🙈🙊😂😂. Am I ranting, sour grapes?? Nah I'm entitled to say it, without hurting. I just love Karma. 😂😂😂
So my picture quote for the day sums up love in different ways and to celebrate my 10 weeks of wonderful sobriety.
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